Rap Radar

We knew what we were getting ourselves into before opening this CD, but this is even worse than you can imagine. Out on bail, fresh out of jail, the first thing Gucci does is…. Randomly lock himself in the studio to create a joint album with Kreayshawn’s White Girl Mob affiliate, V-Nasty. You made the wrong call. We can’t decide what’s more offensive: V’s annoying voice or her sucky simple nursery rhymes. Tha Bizness-produced “Out My Circle” and Slim Dunkin-featured “Push Up” may be tolerable, but the rest of the album is pretty much torture. “Let’s Get Faded” fizzles. “Food Plug” is foolish. “Whip Appeal” has none whatsoever and “Sick Swag” will make your stomach turn. BAYTL? What an epic fail.

Meek Mill and Rick Ross made 9-to-5ers feel like the H.N.I.C. with last year’s inescapable, “Ima Boss”. Fuck a blog dog, Jahlil Beats’ triumphant horns were responsible for nearly every party in 2011. Operating like a hip-hop Stockton and Malone, Meek creates a perfect assist for his mentor, “Got so many shades they thought I had a lazy eye” before closing the track with a game-winning third verse. Who took a loss? Not MMG.

Previously: #10 Wale x Miguel “Lotus Flower Bomb” l #9 J.Cole x Trey Songz “Can’t Get Enough” l #8 Ace Hood Ft. Rick Ross x Lil Wayne “Hustle Hard (Remix)” l #7 2 Chainz x T.I. “Spend It (Remix)” l #6 The Throne “Otis” l #5 Common “Blue Sky” l #4 Bad Meets Evil “Fast Lane” l #3 The Throne “Niggas In Paris” l #2 DJ Khaled Ft. Drake, Rick Ross & Lil Wayne “I’m On One“

Respect due to Snoop for releasing free music each and every Tuesday for months. We enjoy that type of stuff on these Internets. But when he finally released his eleventh album Doggumentary, it did more than disappoint. This might be the worst edition to the Dogg’s legendary catalog. Things never get going over an overwhelming 21 tracks. Unwanted guests and horrendous production are prevelant. “Wet” left radio in a drought and “Platinum” with R. Kelly was far from even sounding golden. Not even E-40 or Jeezy could make themselves at home on “My Fucn House” and what was Kanye thinking cosigning “Eyez Closed”? And really “Superman” with Willie Nelson? Pass the kryptonite! Calvin, this was a doggone shame.

It is safe to say, Khaled Khaled knows how to make a hit. With T-Minus, 40, and Kromatik handling the production duties, Khaled rounded up three of the game’s top MCs for this summer’s undisputed anthem. On the slow-rolling instrumental, Drake sets the tone showcasing his vocals. Don’t get it twisted though. Drizzy gets back on his rap shit before setting up Rozay, who then later passes the baton to Tunechi for the final stretch. Still and all, it’s Aubrey’s great chorus that stays in your brain. Yo Khaled, let’s keep these three within arms’ reach at all times. 3x platinum? Let’s see you top that. Ha!

Lil B got the attention he wanted last spring after ceremoniously naming his album, I’m Gay. Unfortunately, his publicity stunt backfired like a double barrel 12 gauge. B’s production palette is noteworthy, but that’s where it stops. From beginning to end, I’m Gay is marred by off kilter ramblings and incoherent verbiage. Simply put: the boy can’t rap. Just goes to show that short-term decisions breed long term ramifications. Straight up.

Folks of all races skated to one song and this one song only. Over Hit-Boy’s heavy drums and electrifying bridge, Jay and Ye displayed their balling antics on tilt that made even the poorest man wanna dig in his pocket to cop a bottle of bubbly. The Will Ferrell Blades Of Glory-sample during the break was actually quite fitting since we needed a time out from all the kinetic energy. Thankfully the bars were as strong as the bounce. From Yeezy’s cockiness “Doctors say I’m the illest, ’cause I’m suffering from realness” to Jay’s clever metaphors “Psycho. I’m liable to go Michael, take your pick: Jackson, Tyson, Jordan, Game 6″. And if you were lucky enough to attend their tour, you might have caught it live which was its own experience. Who performs a song 11 times in a row? Now that shit is cray.

Yeah I know this was technically a mixtape but since Kimmy was selling this crap and PayPal ganked me not once but twice, I say it counts. Y’all remember the fuckery this disaster caused early last year but how many have you have ever taken the time to listen to this 76 minute CD in full. Well I have and I still haven’t recovered. I’ll never get that time back! Whether she’s murdering herself on Minaj’s track (“Pissin On Em”), imitating Ace Hood’s cadence (“Hustle Hard”), disrespecting Rih Rih’s “Man Down” (“Cheatin”) or autotuning herself all over Kanye’s “All Of The Lights” (“Lights Camera Action”), Kim consistently sounds bad. Real bad. Michael Jackson. Face it, it’s over boo.

Just in case anyone forgot Eminem and Royce Da’ 5’9″ could rap, “Fast Lane” was a great reminder. Released under their Bad Meets Evil banner, “Fast Lane” is a Stan’s wet dream. Over an aggressive soundbed, Em and Nickle bob and weave through pockets of syllables and complexities. By the end of the closing bell, their sparring match is best summed up by Royce’s line: “Me and Shady deaded the past, so that basically resurrected my cash flow“. Jackpot!

Jomo’s good with us ’round these parts. But when it comes to his last album, Capo, this was just all kinds of bad. For starters, his single “Perfect Day” didn’t live up its flawless title. Unlike Jim’s previous efforts, (particularly Harlem: Diary Of A Summer), Capo lacks continuity and cohesiveness. There’s jacked flows (“The Paper”, “Hockey Bag”), poor production (“Dope Boi”), and mediocre rhymes (you can take your pick on that one). Jim’s proven to be capable of holding down the Dip’s Set, it’s just that this album does nothing for his cosa nostra.

Common’s second single was first rate. Produced by No I.D., Lonnie went ham over choreographed drums and a groovy Electric Light Orchestra sample. Part inspirational, “It all started with a dream, I wanted to be Run D.M.C/ The Lord put the blessing upon the MC” with a dash of swagger, “Suited in Prada, stay mellow like LaLa/ Young fresh with dollars, ladies go gaga” “Blue Sky” soars above the clouds. Lift off.