Hip-Hop Confessions: A Children’s Story

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Sometimes, you just have to dumb it down. No Lupe F.

Last Week: Hip-Hop Confessions: Cold As Ice

Once upon time, there was a really short man with funny hair named, Mark. Mark called himself Sisqo and sang in a group called Dru Hill. One day, Mark made an album all by himself. He called it Unleash The Dragon. He loved dragons. Anyway, over five million people bought it because of these four really great songs that played on the radio. The most popular one was about thongs. Crazy, right?!

Yep, Mark was on top of the world. Everyone loved him. He even did a song with DMX and Beanie Sigel! But then, something bad happened: He got cocky. And it made Usher and R.Kelly mad. But Mark didn’t care. Instead, he made another album. And guess what? It sucked. Bad. After that, his fans turned on him and forgot about all the great music he made. Rappers did the same thing too. Nas called him a faggot. Twice. At least he didn’t kiss another guy. Eventually, Mark disappeared. But last year, he made a comeback as a country singer—on TV!

Yeah, I know it’s sad that people laugh at him now. But not me. I still like to listen to his songs. Now, remember boys and girls, switch siding is like drugs: Just say no! 

The End.

Shout out to KING and Peter Rubin for the inspiration.

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  1. what the fuck says:

    this was fucked up man, i thought this was going to be about you not knowing about Slick Rick and his “children story” song. How the fuck is gay ass sisqo a Hip-Hop confession. B. dot this is not hate, this is constructive criticism, this shit sucked. If you’re going to say Hip-Hop confessions, make the shit about hip-hop and if you’re going to use the title of a classic hip-hop track, make the shit about hip-hop.

  2. ian aka StellasKid says:

    I have to agree with the homie above, this was misleading….

  3. kelito-vision says:

    sisqo was dope for a minute but then he just fell off and became super gay it seems overnight…that Thong song helped but hurt his career in the long run…

  4. Brian B.Dot Miller says:

    Alright, fine no more R&B. But hey, it DID have a hip-hop tie in. I just wanted to get that off my chest, par. Back to regularly scheduled programming next week.

  5. JDM says:

    Def not a hip hop confession, maybe a confession of your own, in 2009 u still listen to sisqo. Whats that wendy williams catch fraze….

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